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Housing list & some questions

May 22nd, 2006 at 02:03 pm

My OH and I have decided to put our names on the housing list. We will be on there for years since we aren't a priority (as in I'm not pregnant or homeless). We'll end up renting a place anyway for two reasons: we can't afford to buy straight away and we want to see what we'll be like living together.

I've got a couple of questions for everyone:

1. is it any different living together?
2. did you and your OH make preparations before you both moved in together? e.g. buying things for the house, saving money. I'm hoping to do both.

We will hopefully move in together next year. By that time we will have been going out for over 4 years. I don't think that's too soon.

I'm so naive when it comes to things like this.

5 Responses to “Housing list & some questions”

  1. Thrifty Ray Says:

    Here are some questions that you and OH should talk about:

    1. How are you going to pay expenses. (Who pays what)
    2. Joint bank accounts or separate.
    3. What happens if someone becomes unemployed? Sick?
    4. What are your financial goals? Short term/ long term.
    5. Will each of you have your 'own' money- allowance? or what's left over after you pay your share of the bills??
    6. Who cooks? Cleans?
    7. Are there debts that you dont know about that need to be discussed?
    8. How will you decide on purchases of more than say $50?
    9. Do you squeeze the tube from the middle, or roll up the end of the toothpaste?
    10. Toilet seat up or down?
    11. Can in-laws pop in uninvited?
    12. Where will you spend holiday?

    There is alot to consider. It is different living together...in good ways and in challenges.

    The more you talk through things now, the more chance you will have of success!

    Good luck to you!

  2. MsSuperSaver Says:

    I second what Ray said...make sure you get the details (especially the financial details) worked out in advance! Good luck to you both on this new adventure.

  3. LuckyRobin Says:

    My DH and I did not live together before we got married but we had a long engagement while we finished college and we would buy things as we could afford to, slowly building up a supply of necessitites, that we could store at our parent's homes. It really helped to have some of that out of the way before we got married.

    One thing I would add to Ray's list above, talk about what happens if you become pregnant. Do you or he have medical insurance? Will you be covered on his medical insurance if you aren't married when you become pregnant? Will it be a pre-existing condition? I'm not sure how your medical is set up in your country, but it can be very important to know this stuff ahead of time.

    Also talk about what your wishes are in case of a dibilitating accident or death, long-term care, organ donation, burial or cremation, have it written down, and then make sure the rest of your family knows it, too. I know this is morbid to think about, but there are so many problems that can be caused by not knowing. And if your fiance is not your husband your wishes that you have given to him may be overruled by blood relatives.

  4. lrjohnson Says:

    I think Ray has a great list. Another question: how much "personal" time do each of you need? Some times people want to be together all the time, other folks like some "me" time, or out with gang without a partner time. It will prevent hurt feelings if you know where the other is coming from, and learn if you need to compromise. If you like alone time, he needs to not be hurt, and vice versa.

    Even if you split the bills 50/50 and keep everything separate, you need to talk some finances. If he's willing to pay half of the fanciest cable possible, that won't work for you if you want no cable. So decide what "extras" you want to split as far as cable, netflix, long distance, voicemail and features, magazine subscriptions, what have you.

    Oh, and how will you spend holidays? It seems minor until it's Christmas and you have obligations that he isn't aware of/prepared for, or worse, he has other obligations. (Though separate holidays could work fine if you were prepared fir it.)

    We started roommates way before he became My Guy, so I can't speak to "is it different."

    Tell each other pet peeves; whatever other roommates or family members did that drove you nuts. You don't have to cater to each others every whim, but avoiding pet peeve triggers helps-it's a lot of bang for the buck to not puch buttons. So, yeah, it is important to know if he hates wet towels on the floor.

  5. scottish girl Says:

    Thanks for all of your suggestions. I spoke to my OH briefly tonight and mentioned a couple of things briefly, it was on the phone but I'm planning on doing it in person. Those are all good issues. I think I can safely say now that the in-laws won't be allowed to pop in uninvited Smile I'll let you know how it goes

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