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Up and Down

October 15th, 2015 at 07:38 am

I'm not talking about my bank balance; I'm talking about attitude these days, or more specifically, my moods. I used to have no problem with my moods - except for during a day or two of the month (sorry male readers!). Recently, this is not the case.

I've been back at work about six months. Yesterday I was doing a job that months ago I decided was a good job that I enjoyed doing. My reasons for this were that it is out of the way of everyone and I can talk to my co-workers.

Yesterday these were exactly the reasons that put me in a mood. Out of the way of everyone? Because nobody likes the job so they don't want to be there. That's why you are usually alone when you do it. Chat to my co-workers? Not when they start conversations that as soon as I hear know straight away that I won't want to get involved in. Lets just say it would have led to a debate about wider issues that I don't discuss at work.

Yesterday was also the day that I bumped into someone who just wanted to argue with me. Seriously. Haven't seen someone in a decade? Start an argument with them. That's one way to make friends and alienate people.

See what I mean?

Of course, the problem with all of this is that I am stuck in a rut. (The other problem might also be that I'm talking to the wrong people?)

When my mood goes, so does my ability to track spending. And make payments. The last week or so I lost track of spending and missed a payment to the council who I still owe for their overpayment last year. I'm not even sure how much is still left to pay because I've been on such a downer I haven't had the energy to work it out. I'll be doing it today or tomorrow. I only realised I'd missed it because I was looking through paperwork, which wasn't organised... I will be making a payment today.

One of my former close friends got in touch recently. I say former close friend because we're not close friends anymore. More of an acquaintance, really, however at this point I think the term acquaintance is being generous. If you only know what someone is up to based on their facebook profile then you're really not friends. Anyway she got in touch literally the night before she wanted to visit. Also, she got in touch through facebook. She has my phone number. I've got no problem with people getting in touch that way if that's there only option, it's annoying if they've had your phone number for years and don't use it. Anyway, the visit never happened because I told her I wasn't free.

Ok that was a bit of a rant...

Tomorrow is payday, thankfully. Next pay will be a bit less because I went away an hour early yesterday. From tomorrow's pay I will be buying dh's first Christmas present. Payday weekend is always good because more money gets thrown at the emergency fund.

This entry is all over the place. If you made it this far reward yourself with some chocolate or ice cream. You deserve it.

8 Responses to “Up and Down”

  1. VS_ozgirl Says:
    1444899767

    SG I'm sorry to hear that you're not in a great place right now. Sometimes life feels like it sucks. Sometimes the only great thing in your life is having an awesome cup of coffee (ok that's a me thing), watching a funny TV show (another me thing), hugging your kids or your husband. If I could give you one piece of advice which has served me well it is look for the good in each day. Even if the only good thing lasts three minutes. And maybe sit down and think about whether you need a change and how to go about it. Hoping you start to feel a bit more uplifted soon xxx

  2. creditcardfree Says:
    1444908063

    If think you've been down for more than two weeks, you might consider checking with a doctor. You may be depressed. Good advice from VS_ozgirl about looking for the good. I think there is a practice out there called a gratitude journal, where you do write down each day what your grateful for. A

    And I would say it is probably VERY normal to ignore finances if you are not feeling well whether physically or emotionally. Being tuned in and knowing that is how you feel is the first step to getting back on track.

  3. deacon's wife/laura Says:
    1444915220


    Oh boy, can I relate. Just when I'm feeling on an upswing ... my daughter's classmate died. (She had a chronic illness, but the death was sudden - so sudden that she had been at school the day before). My brother's transition to family life is being difficult (I had to tell him: "Hello, we are kids of divorce, too. Remember that it wasn't easy becoming a blended family.") My best friend and I "broke up" a few weeks ago, but she was dumped by her boyfriend and we reunited. Now she's been diagnosed with a heart condition and wanted to talk about her will and estate planning last night. I think key to the emotional health is keeping yourself physically health: eating right and getting rest. I, too, feel that money management isn't nearly important and I usually think it is. So, don't feel alone. Know that we're all rather limping along and struggling right now. (hugs)

  4. My English Castle Says:
    1444930582

    Oh, Sarah. It's hard sometimes--but I think you're doing great juggling two kids and trying to keep your family on track. No chocolate ice cream for me--but I'd like to send you a bowl and a nap. Hang in there, dear.

  5. rob62521 Says:
    1444955990

    So sorry, Sarah. It is sad when people let you down or act like jerks. It tends to make you hurt and then things seem out of balance. Hang in there. You do amazing things.

  6. LuckyRobin Says:
    1444981309

    You're in the U.K. correct? Seasonal depression due to shorter days may be hitting you at this time of year. I always up my vitamin D take in October for this reason and start using my happy light. Or you may be having a bit of postpartum depression. It doesn't always hit right away and it isn't always as bad as they make it out to be, but it can still cause the feelings you are feeling.

  7. creditcardfree Says:
    1444996337

    Good advice from LR. Smile

  8. FrugalTexan75 Says:
    1445046449

    Sarah, I get where you're coming from totally. Some days I feel like I could manage doing my job for the next 15 years, other days I am gritting my teeth to get through the last few hours of the day... Then there's some family issues going on that are keeping me up at night ... So ... just wanted to say {{hugs}}

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